18

listen;

maybe it’s just me.

.

I’ve never had much faith

in myself and I

always mess things up

.

before there is

a chance to start

.

and I’m sorry

that I cannot give you much more

than just truth

.

but listen;

I would not hurt you

17- im aware this is atrocious

this day is not so much yours nor

hers

nor mine

so with unbelonging feet I walked

.

along in your wake

and wished any part of me knew

.

how to be something somebody

wanted around

sixteen.

here’s to realizing

.

I think

my

heart

be-

longs to

.

you

.

(oh what a mess, what a mess

I have made again)

15;

I should write no more of love

as I know it leads nowhere

and always ends in disaster

.

but I can’t help it;

I’m addicted

and for you I am falling.

.

even though I tried because 

I could spend a few hours with you

and even though time was too short

I still love you

.

and you still smile when you speak to me

.

and you are still my favorite part;

you always are

fourteen

I kept my face impassive,

my voice delicate

.

but there’s no denying:

you are the one I’d been waiting for.

thirteen

how sick, how feeble

my heart

I am dazed

and lost in you

.

(and how sweet your gaze,

how beautiful

.

your soul)

.

wrap me up

in your arms so rough

let me stay here forever

let me stay

twelve.

ever-smiling

you are

and wrapped up in gold

.

with your eyes like the sea

.

how could I repay you

for loving the truth?